Friday, June 2, 2017

What’s My Emoji?

What’s My Emoji?
By Jen Benham
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My husband likes to play this annoying game with me. He finds it absolutely hysterical in the middle of a conversation to count how many times I have a “mood swing”. He then chimes out in a high singing chant “Mood swing!” which inevitably irritates me bringing on another...and usually another...and so on. I have the ability to change my mood quite rapidly...and my facial expression typically follows suit.

I personally prefer face-to-face, one-on-one communication with people. However, in our ever- changing digital age we communicate much of the time through devices. This has me worried at times for the generations to come in their ability to properly speak to other human beings... but that is another topic all together. The clever invention of the emoji has greatly increased our ability to express the tone of simple written messages. For instance the phrase “Yay!” can be
expressed in multiple ways. When one is excited “Yay!” can be followed with giving someone a virtual high five! “Yay” can also be followed with πŸ˜’ in “yeah, not so much”...or even a facetious πŸ˜‰. Where words once fell flat a simple emoji can communicate mood, tone and inflection to text messages and Facebook comments to emails and blog posts. This got me wondering...what’s my emoji?

As a woman, I find it my prerogative to change my mood...and opinions as a matter of fact. This is no surprise to my husband who invented the accurate (all-be-it aggravating) little game I mentioned earlier. When I am out and about I really try to have that of a pleasant mood. My prayer is that the Light of Christ will shine through me at the post office, the bank, the grocery people I know and those I don’t. Wherever I go, I really try to say a friendly “Good morning” or “Hi, there!”...and sometimes people respond...other times they look at me like I’m crazy sometimes making me wonder what has happened to common courtesy!? Are we too buried in our devices, to-do lists and thoughts to even say “hello” to one another? Even walking down the sidewalk in my small town or down the halls of my church, I have been astonished at how people don’t want to speak to one another!? I get it in the crowded halls on a Sunday morning it can be difficult to speak to every single person that you know, and I for sure have been distracted and guilty of not saying hello chasing after 3 kiddos or looking over the crowd to find my usually tall husband, but when 2 people pass in an empty hall, I find it rude not to say something...let alone not even respond...especially at church! 😧 Ok...end rant.

All of that being said, sometimes it’s hard to hide my mood. While my desire is to be seen as
😊...sometimes its more like πŸ˜’...or 😫...or πŸ˜₯. When I’m asked about my health, I really try to be honest and most of the time after hiding the truth for so long (watch/read my testimony), but I don’t even know what to say anymoreπŸ˜•. If you really want to know my pain is constant 😣, my digestive issues are continual πŸ˜–and I am always, always exhausted and fatiguedπŸ˜“. Not fun, right? 😞Not something I really want to talk about πŸ˜Ά. And then when people say “Well at least you look good” trying to be encouraging most of the time I just smile...and say well, thanks...but really I
feel like πŸ˜”. Our fallen world is so focused on what we see, that we can so easily can’t see the forest for the trees.

When I’m asked about my husband , I just adore him 😍. He does have the ability to get under
my skin like no other 😀...and he can make me a little crazy 😜. But I just cannot stay mad at
him 😏...he makes me laugh like no other πŸ˜‚...and he knows it! When I’m asked about my
children4πŸ‘¬...oh I just love them to pieces😘and my heart burstsπŸ’— with joyful gratitude
that God chose me to be their mommy πŸ˜ƒ. When asked how old they are , it is so bittersweet
for me 😭...they are growing up too, too fast 😳....though every new stage and season is “my favorite”...they are SO much fun! 😎Nathan and I often ask one another if we could just hit
the “pause” button . When asked if we will have any more babies...πŸ’”oh it stings πŸ˜ͺ...hits me right where it hurts . But there is always the hope that God will send us another angel some
way , some how πŸ˜‡. Only God. When asked about my sister and best friend who is due any day with her little rainbow baby girl ?...I am filled with us joy and excitement ...and despite my efforts to let go and let God, my body is reacting with anxious anticipation of her coming arrival 😰. When asked how work is’s going. After a month of non-stop computer software change issues, I think we have turned the corner and are on our way to actually liking it πŸ˜…. When people comment about their enjoyment seeing me help facilitate worship on Sunday mornings, I am filled with such gratitude for the ability to do it .

I guess all in all friends...I am as the song and sadness, peace and madness. And a few years ago I would have felt shame over that...but not anymore. All I can do is keep holding on to Jesus and let HIS joy be my strength and my song. Because my joy is fleeting. The tone of my song changes tune quite often. But HE never changes. Whatever my mood...or my any given moment, I can rest in the Truth that HE is good...ALL the time!

The LORD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14 NASB 

1 comment:

  1. Jen, thank you SO much for writing this post! It really spoke to me because lately I've been feeling ashamed wrestling with some unwanted emotions. I take such comfort in knowing we have a strong Lord whom I can bring all these emotions to and He still loves me anyway!