Don’t Forget to Remember!
by Becky Wiegers
Over the past few weeks, I have been wrestling with the reality that God loves for me, that he has called me, and that he wants to use me for His kingdom. While I know that these things are true (because it says so in the Bible), I keep on being confronted with my weakness, failure, and inability to obey some of the simplest commands. I have been progressively more aware of my sinful nature. I am quick to speak a snippy word to my family members, I constantly compare my life and appearance with others, and I quickly fall into some of the same old destructive patterns that I so badly want to be rid of. I keep on thinking that I can stop these things on my own, but that’s the issue right there. I keep on telling myself “I can do this. I got this”, but the reality is that “I don’t got this”. BUT GOD has the power to overcome sin in my life. I forget that I can’t fight the enemy and sin on my own. I forget who is living inside of me- the God of this world.
In my heart I know that I am IN CHRIST (Galatians 2:20) and that my identity is found in Him and who He made me to be, but I can’t help but feel helpless and undeserving sometimes of the rich promises that God has given me. I find it hard to believe that I can be useful for such honorable and difficult Kingdom work. I have been praying the prayer “Lord I believe in you and your promises to me, but help my unbelief that you will actually use me to do your amazing work in the world” (Mark 9:24) I know God has been revealing my weakness to me on purpose, and I am thankful for the reality check (even though it hurts), because in turn I am becoming more aware of my need for God and His power working through me.
As I have been confronted with my sin, which tends to lead to despair, God has not left me hopeless. He has planted people, moments, and words of truth in my heart and mind so that I can repent and cry out to God for renewal and a new way of thinking, with HOPE for the future.
A sermon I listened to recently reminded me of my position as a child of God. The pastor questioned the common phrase that we are all “sinners saved by grace”. While it is true that Christ died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), the deeper truth is that as Christians we are now SAINTS! No more are we under the authority and rule of Satan (and sin), but instead are under the authority of Jesus (who is life). We tend to believe that we are failures and keep on sinning simply because we forget who we are. We forget how God actually sees us-as saints. We forget that we have God living in us.
Also as a source of hope, God has also been allowing me to dream- dream of my future and the plans that He has for me. Sometimes, in the middle of my dreaming I stop and think “But wait, I haven’t even begun to do any of these things. How will I ever get there? God, are you sure you want to use me?” But then I remember that God is bigger than my inadequacies and inexperience- He will present the steps that I need to take to get where he wants me to be.
Overall, the confrontation of my fears, sins, and annoying go-to behaviors has brought me closer to God and His will for me. Amid tears and a heavy heart, God is showing me greater things. He shows me that His power is greater in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). I am thankful that God is still drawing me to himself, and that he never gives up on me. The Bible has been an indispensable tool during this time, as even the simple phrase “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) is a reminder of who I am and who God is.
In this post, I really wanted to be open and vulnerable about what God has been doing in my life. I pray that God will use these words to open your eyes and hearts to His power (and our weakness), and encourage you if you are discouraged and frustrated because you can’t seem to get past certain habits or thought patterns. Don’t despair, because God still loves you, you are still His child, and he is calling you to Himself. “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24). We can continue to take steps (even if they are tiny) toward knowing God and His truth so that we will not forget who we are and who lives inside of us. As Christians, we are victorious in Christ, and “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1)- remember and walk in that beautiful truth!